I’ve struggled with writing this since before Long Beach, and the words don’t seem to be coming any easier today than they did a few weeks ago. Effective today, I am shuttering IndyCar Advocate. The site will remain up, but as of now, there are no plans at present for additional articles or content to be posted.
This isn’t because I don’t love IndyCar, or because of any slight or offense. Simply put, I don’t have the time or resources to do this properly, and it's become pretty clear to me the winds aren't blowing in my direction. I currently work 2.5 jobs, take classes, and most importantly, have a family that needs my attention and dedication. I had hoped that I’d be able to justify to myself continuing on either through donations or from opportunities derived from writing, but that simply hasn’t materialized, outside the rare actions of a few kind-hearted individuals (thank you again).
I love IndyCar. I believe it is the best racing going on the planet, and I’ve enjoyed every minute of my involvement through this site. That, and the wonderful friends I’ve made, make this an incredibly hard decision that has kept me up nights. But I can no longer stave off reality, and that reality is my current level of obligations no longer allow for me to participate in this sport, and by extension, this site, as I would otherwise want to. As much as I've wanted the right opportunities to come along to help me to continue, it just hasn't happened.
Non-racing fans find it counter-intuitive when I talk about how peaceful I find racing. For me, the excitement of cars roaring around the track is complemented by what I feel when I drive out to the Speedway in the middle of winter, or show up just after the gates open and sit in the stands, watching the track slowly come to life. There’s something wonderful about a speedway or race course before the race, before qualifications, before practice. Nothing has yet been written; each day, each session is waiting to be born, and brings the possibility of something new, wonderful, and exciting. At the same time, that silence before all the engines roar to life, there is a quiet, profound sense of shared history, a sense of perspective and scope that is deep and affirming. In racing, the ghosts of the past are always there, and I’ve found listening for them brings a tremendous amount of peace and contentment. I hope that at some point, I’m able to come back to that. I'll at least leave the door open a crack.
Here’s hoping all of you enjoy what you love, stay positive, and have a great racing season. If you don’t mind, I’m probably not going to respond to any inquiries for a few weeks—there’s a lot to do, and after doing this, there’s the sense of needing some distance for a bit. Thanks for all the great times, and may God bless you.